I'm Going to Let My Chauffeur Answer It & Where Do You Want These Blinds

I'm Going to Let My Chauffeur Answer It
   A famous scientist was on his way to yet another lecture when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heared your speech so many times, I bet I could deliver it and give you the right off."
   "Sounds great," the scientist said.
   When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled in the back now. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
   "Yes," said one proffessor. Then he launched into a highly technicial question.
   The chauffeur was panic-stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. "That's an easy one," he replied, "so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it."

Where Do You Want These Blinds
   A drill sergeant orderer two young female recruits to paint a room in the barracks, stressing that they not get any paint on their uniforms. Doubtfuly they could avoid ruining their clothes, the women locked the door, stripped naked and painted in nude. After about an hour they heard a knock at the door.
   "Who is it?" asked one of the women.
   "Blind man," came the reply. Seeing no harm in letting a blind man in, they opened the door.
   "Wow, what knockouts!" the man said with surprise. "now, where do you want these blinds?"