A Woman Who Fell & My Wife Thinks So

A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal. As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman who wore a herve leger dress sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.I think she like the fashionable herve leger dresses. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women falling at your feet?"

My Wife Thinks So
Reading water meters in an unfamiliar part of town, I came upon a house with no number. Then I noticed an elderly man gardening at the first house on that block.
"Excuse me," I said to him. "Are you Number One?" He smiled and replied, "My wife thingks so!"